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Friday, 10 March 2017

Growing up in Salford


Cross Lane Fairy's,
All Around
Fur Coat No Knickers,
Off to Town

The Crofts Were Our Playgrounds
The Bins was our Stage
Green Shield Stamps
Lined up on the page

Off to Clarendon Baths
Or Seedley Pool
Don't Rob Off Your Own
Was Always The Rule

Chimney Pot Park
To Try Out New Craze's
And the Girls Sat Around
Making Chains with the Daisy's

Off to your Nan's
In the Hope of Some Spends
Then off to the Carlton
To Meet Up With Your Friends

The Kettledrum busy
With Our James and Sam
My Dad watching Football
My Mam Pushing a Pram

All Of the Jewels
I see in my head
Memories of Streets
Moore's Bakery Bread

Its my home for always
Until I'm extinct
I'l Just nip to Johns stall
On Salford Precinct

Deborah Crossley Hatswell

If i could go back.

I am often asked if i have any regrets in my life, as i am nearing 50, have lost my mobility and live a simple quiet life others may not envy, yet i can honestly say i am happier now than i have been in decades, i realise that even in our negative moments and in life’s struggles though something we endure, it usually results in a new found strength or understanding, i think if i have any regrets at all its for the things i have not done, the moments i missed and the knowledge i have now i would of loved at twenty.


I remember back when i was young, i was so insecure had no understanding of beauty in its true sense, i was always striving to match, to fit in, and yet i never did, the more vanity i showed the less i liked myself or understood myself, i had all these hang ups about my body, and my abilities.  I regret not knowing what i wanted and just being carried along, never catching your breath and just battling away against life.





So if now me could go back and talk to then me, i would have a lot to say, and i feel it’s a message i should pass on.  There is no better gift you can give yourself than a belief that you are a unique and beautiful in your own way, you have gifts to give the world that you have not discovered yet. Yes you can give yourself permission to dance in the rain, walk in the snow and enjoy every second in the way it was meant to be, regardless of what anyone else thinks or say’s.  Its OK to feel down or a little swamped as long as you try to find a positive within it.  Some lessons we have to go through, no matter how bad or how much they hurt, they make us better people, no matter how hard the trial is, hold the knowledge that nothing lasts forever, and we are only ever one thought away from changing our whole lives.  





I look back at photographs when i was 20, there was no ugly duckling, yet for me in my head she was always there, i looked but couldn’t find her all i could see was how vibrant i looked, how i had a beauty all of my own that only my thoughts and the opinion of others dulled.  I challenge all of you to do the same, and you will see the beauty you held and others could see, yet somehow we could never see it.  


Society pushes us down, gives us doubts and worries, fills our head with what we think we need rather than what we really need, and when this does not come straight away we get more stressed and upset.  When all we really need is love, love for your family, your parents, your friends and more important than all that love for yourself. You are an incredible person with a spirit filled with fun and joy for others, and you hold the power, you get to decide who shares in this, who comes along for the journey. You hold all the answers, stop listening to the doubting voices in your head, push away the “i wouldn't do that its weird” complainers and just do it, get up tomorrow and make a positive change. Grab life by the reins and hold on tight, in the knowledge you don’t need a map, or instructions, a life plan, or a nest egg, life will provide, love and the soul always find a way.  Never put someone else in charge of your happiness, if it hurts learn from it, don't keep going over the same old ground, find new fertile ground and settle there a while. You are not supposed to have all the answers, even in middle age i know so very little and still have a journey to complete. If i can do anything whilst on this earth, it would be to let you into a secret i didn't know till now.  Spend less time with people who bring you down and upset you, try to put you in a box you just don't fit in, and more time with the ones that help you to fly, you will make mistakes and that's OK, it will all be alright in the end. You can change your journey at any point, you control that. The most important person in your life is you, when your OK with that, you can become anything you want. For when you truly love yourself warts and all, it becomes very easy to see that love and beauty in everyone really, it just depends on who’s eyes you look through, choose yours for they are the most honest.




I leave you for a while with the knowledge that it will always be OK, it will work out, if it comes from a place of real love for yourself.

Butterflies and Storms


We all come into this earth fresh and new, clean of any perceptions and questions, these come afterwards as our childhoods progress and society has an influence on our thoughts and actions. Each one of us working through life’s challenges. Each one of us having the ability to change and grow. Each human step takes and gives something to the earth, and the earth gives back to you. So many people strive to make a difference chasing their passions and living each day as if tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. And yet so many are just carried on the tide of life, with no purpose or thought to their actions, some feel defeated, sick of the fight, some of the hurt and lost give in and chose to let life trickle by just waiting for something to happen, something to change, a sign from outside that will change things for them.  And then there are life’s warriors people who through no fault of their own are burdened by physical or mental obstacles so huge most people would sit in defeat.  But i heard a story today, a beautiful story that filled me with hope, a zest to conquer and a new way of looking at the world.  
Like a butterfly with the most delicate of wings can champion a mighty storm, a storm so big the earth trembled and yet Sam stood, wings unfolded ready to fly, to take on the challenge of the wind and the rain, to let nothing stop her whether man made or from mother nature and i realised that within each of us there is a beauty, a spirit most don’t show, but with this butterfly it shines out, encompassing everything and person around it, giving them the strength to spread their own wings, find their own storms, overcome them and move forward. A beautiful soul of light and love, the tiny butterfly had an effect on me and many others bigger than any storm has.
I was inspired to write these words on seeing the amazing story of Sam Hall and her storm chasing, faced with challenges that would defeat most of us, she stood her ground, fought for what she wanted and lived her dreams everyday.
So it’s ok to pause, and dry your wings, catch your breathe, as long as you keep on flying, soar as high and for as long as you can.

Deborah Crossley Hatswell

A Conker in my Pocket


You can do anything you want with a conker in your pocket,
You can smash and win, or soar and loose
Scrape a knuckle, win a bruise
But the feel of victory is sweet, an imagination you cannot beat
With a conker in your pocket



Feel it with your fingers all smooth and glossy
“Cover it in vineger” says your sister cos she's bossy
“Cover it in nail varnish” says your brother who likes to cheat
Or treasure it forever, as it's the biggest in your street.
Anything is achievable
With a conker in your pocket

No matter what age, short or tall, from the Autumn trees they fall
Children collect them in droves
Old ladies whose spirits rose, at the colour of those Chestnut hues
A prescription for the winter blues
Send spiders scurrying for miles and fill small children up with smiles
The power of a conker in your pocket

Ask grand dad will he string them up, he was a champ, he won a cup
At age 11 fingers held, he beat 9 boys as legend tells
He is a local hero now, remembered for his conker skill
And he told me today, i have the gift, his drive, his will
So the world is mine, im like a rocket
I can soar  away to anywhere
Because i have, a conker in my pocket.


Deborah Crossley Hatswell

Stone Shed Wood, Cottage In The Pines


Sue carried in her last load of logs and kindling and lay them down close to the fire and began to set to, she had pulled up almost an hour earlier but as she had left her watch behind and had no desire to look at her phone (that irritating item was part of the reason she was here after all, so even a reminder was unwelcome) and it was mid afternoon, but at this time of year it would soon be dusk, the day light doesn't last that long in the north and she was already nervous about spending her first night here, so she wanted the fire lit and burning brightly by that time, it wasn't so much being alone that worried her or the wildlife really, just the remnants of a dream she had as a child, that still bothered her to this day all these years later.  So she stood up from her kneeling position by the fire and started to look around for any candles or oil lamps that might add a little more light to the room, she soon found what she was looking for in a pantry area that had clearly been stocked by a person who knows what you need this far out of town, that calmed her a little, it was such a long time since she had visited this place, she was unsure how many of her old skills would return, she was brought up in the town closet to here and spent many a weekend and summer across the way with her Grand parents who lived in the big house about Four miles south if you used the road but that too could be washed out a lot of the year, so Sue was used to making do and adapting as a child, alas as the years had moved on and life changed, she wasn't afraid to admit that even she had become a little soft and the longing for her cosy flat in the town called to her for a moment, but then she remembered and decided to push those thoughts as far into the back of her mind as she could.  “Thats what your here for” she told herself sternly and again set about getting things as spic and span as she could with the time allowing.


The stone shed as the family called it was Sue’s Great Grandmother's old home, where she had lived as a child, nursed her parents, raised her own children and grandchildren and was forced by a very henpecked son (my poor Grand father) into living with the family after a nasty fall one autumn.  She was secretly pleased to be amongst the chatter and bustle, but her love of the woods and fields made her declare loudly  “she would haunt the first bugger to try pulling a brick from its walls” and to this day that wish is still respected. Though not used for at least 20yrs that Sue could remember she was unsure how many more years it would of remained unvisited except for the old gent that came around once in a while and checked on the place, if the last month had not been a turning point for Sue and in a panic feeling like a child she fled back home to lick her wounds and if she was honest catch her breath and try and get a handle on life that so far seemed to have escaped her, the Shed she was sure, would of remained unused for decades more.  





Finally finished with her unpacking, why she had brought half these things she had no idea, “what an absolute idiot you are sometimes Sue” echoing in her ears, jolted her back to reality and she pulled her shoulders back, and stood as straight as she could and started to have a good look around about her at what her new home had to offer.  It wasn't really the inside that held the magic of the area, it was small only 3 rooms and the wood shed, but the women living here before her had raised whole broods of children and did so without much need of further space, because everything you needed as a child or an adult was right outside the door. One large living room held an open fire, a good sized table and stools and two cosy chairs either side of the fire, a little worn now, but apart from the dust and a little damp smell they would do for now, she placed them a little closer to the fire so they would air somewhat, the first nice day and she would put them outside in the sun and beat them a little like her grandmother and mother had done.  She felt the fabric under her fingers, and the pattern brought back familiar memories of childhood and early teens, it was here the dream had happened the one that stopped her visiting this place and the memory of it set off her anxiety again and she had to talk herself down from a spiralling fear, it made no sense really, to be scared of a dream for all these years, to the extent you still can't go alone into the woods just incase that dream was true, because at the time it did not feel like a dream at all, but as real as she was standing here now, as she went back in her mind all the panic and emotion came rushing back and she swayed a little and grabbed onto the chair to steady herself.  For years people had told her it was silly, a grown woman so scared of the world, who had taken so many corners of her life, she was left with a tiny space of comfort that even she could see had to change, so when at last she realised her life in town was a mess, she wasn't happy, she cried more than she laughed these days, she packed up, sold up and put everything she owned into the car and promptly left.  The first few miles bravado kept her warm, but as reality sunk in she realised she was heading home and she put a stop to that thought straight away, could she listen to the endless questions and the “i told you so’s” and she thought of Stone Shed and breathed a sigh of relief, she had bought herself some respite for the time being at least, explaining to everybody how she felt at the moment seemed like an impossible task as she wasn't really sure how she felt to be honest.


“Well standing there like a limp lettuce won't solve it” she heard her grandmother say in her head, and that brought back the joy she had bleached from the moment with her endless worrying and fussing,  She picked up the biggest bucket she had to hand and set off down to the pump, the water was spring fed so it was safe to drink but she pumped a few onto the ground as she had no clue how long ago the pumped was last used, but it worked surprisingly well, “oh good” she thought “trust granddad to have oiled it so well, it's still like new” she cleaned out the bucket and pumped till it was full and took in the scene around her, Stone Shed was in the middle of a wood, the Quarry to the back about half a mile away, through thick brambles and prickles, but here it was shady and nice under the trees mostly birch and oak here but pine in the thicker parts of the wood, the stream was small but did get bigger as it wound down and around, its destination set long ago by Mother Nature. The bird song was incredible, leaves rustling too and fro, the odd scurry of a small creature passing by in the underbrush, lots of leaf litter made the ground soft and the colours in the trees were every shade of green, if you stood on your tiptoes and leaned right you could just make out the town lights at night, but that all seemed so far away now. She bent to pick up the bucket and to her surprise something caught her eye, a quick movement off to the left, a flash of dark colour around chest height,  “Hello” she said a little nervously “hello, anyone there” but no reply, she wondered if she had imagined it, and told herself that was the case, but she kept looking back over her shoulder the whole time on her way back to the house.
                               
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betla_national_park_forest_india.jpeg


Shona and Ranok were breathing heavily, “she nearly saw us” “where did she come from” “wait till Nasson hears somebody's living in the Briar Girls Place, he will want to know all about it,  said Shona in the hope she could lessen her brothers anger a little.  “It doesn't matter you know it's forbidden to come down here, what if you were seen, that's a problem for all of us not just you, and don't tell me the usual “but what if they are not mean,  can't we just try” story this time you went too far, as soon as you heard that things noise (nodding his head over to the car) you were up here as fast as i've seen you move little one, and i knew you were up to no good, if i hadn't pulled you down into the ditch she would of seen you and we would all have to leave this place and find a new place”.  Shona understood all of this but she could not help herself, she just wanted to know a little bit more than the plants and trees, she had heard rumours of “city ones” but had never seen a female one up close, only the old grey one that came sometimes for a small time and left.  She was thinking in her head as Ranok dragged, pushed and bribed her back into the trees and off to safety, the as soon as she got the chance she was going to sneak back for a peek and see what she could learn for herself,
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Sue put the bucket next to the old sink and rinsed a few cups and plates, they were just a bit dusty and a wipe would do, but something had unsettled her, and she wanted to keep busy while she sorted it out in her mind, she was certain she had seen movement down there, not a bug or bird movement but something bigger, she also had a feeling she wasn't alone, and expected a reply to her “hello” unless it was Mr Pelter and he hadn't gotten her note, he may be having a walk around and checking on the place, so she put the pot on to boil and opened the windows wide to let the air in and wondered if she should make a pot of tea or just one for herself.  She had not eaten on the drive and she was starting to feel really hungry and she went and checked what items she had brought on her panic buy at the supermarket, well she hadn't done bad, flour and dried goods to feed an army, but not many greens, well she had that covered and she was sure she could remember most of the old foraging spots, and hopefully some new, she had a good supply of tea and coffee but no milk, well she would have to go without, but she did remember salt so she felt she hadn't done to badly after all, a quick nip into the small ekxo garage and general bric a brac store in Collingston would have to do and she would go tomorrow and get whatever was needed to see her over for a good few weeks, she had money that wasn't the problem, what she didn't have was peace of mind, confidence or a whole bunch of hobbies to keep her busy enough to stop her feeling like the young girl she had remained inside.  “No we're not having that lady” she said to herself, Mr Pelter must of set of straight for home and didn't see the open windows or the smoke from the stack, he must be getting on a bit, but it did puzzle her a little.  She closed up the windows and put the shutters across, banked down the fire a little as it was actually getting warm in here now, and she smiled to herself and did feel content sitting there for the first time in a long while. Jam on toast a cup of tea and a good book was calling her name so Sue settled in for the evening, feeling for the first time in a long while like she belonged.  As the Stone Shed glowed through the cracks and nicks of light emitted a warm glow, she wasn't the only one that night wondering where her place in the world was.


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Aden Raddon was worried he knew his wife was at breaking point, it had been hard since the factory shut and he couldn’t find any work worth hanging around town for, he longed to head back out to the hills where he had grown up, but with a family growing by the minute, he was in the unfortunate position of having plenty of mouths to feed on a forever dwindling budget, they were being as careful as they could be and both himself and his wife Sarah were just about keeping their heads above water when the factory he had worked at for the last 9yrs shut up shop, with no “bye you leave” for the workers just a pittance in redundancy pay, and he was left sat on his laurels with no way of making a penny next week, if they eaked out the Pay Off for as long as possible, he could keep a roof over their heads for a while, but it wasn’t the home he had hoped as a boy he would own, as a small boy his parents were not rich, but they both came from a long line of hill folk who knew how to make do and mend, nothing was thrown away and they hunted their own land for meat and the grew and foraged the rest, Aden’s father was a carpenter so he would always be able to lay his hands on a week’s work, Adens skills were not that called for, he could run and hike for miles without breaking into a sweat, he would think nothing of spending hours in the woods and the hills just taking in the beauty of it all, many a time as a child his parents had despaired of him coming home filthy soaking wet through, with some animal or contraption in his pocket, along with a few stones and his ever present pocket knife. He made forts and dens, was a pirate and a great explorer, a monster hunter and the slayer of dragons, who made his own fires and picked his own food so he rarely missed a meal, his father and their fathers before them had done the same thing, but now alas as industry drove the world, Aden had to go into whatever work he could find and the Crossley & Sons panel factory was all that was on offer around here for the last few decades, with the invention of digital manufacturing he was no longer needed and promptly “let go”. Adens skill set didn't really hit the high priority list at the local “find a job or starve” agencies. And he couldn't go back to washing pots and the odd jobs he had taken before as a single guy so he was stumped, the only thing he could think of right at this second was what were they going to eat for the next few weeks.



It was still dark only around 3am and as Aden watched out of the bedroom window at the other houses in front of him, with their 12 square feet of grass and the odd bird bath sat on a grotty lawn or gravel bed, he sighed as quietly as he could, but inside he was a raging torrent of worry and stress, he wouldn't let Sarah know how worried he was she had enough on her plate with the kids and her mams bad knee and his new acquired unwanted leave from work, she would have the worry of all of it soon enough if he didn't pull his finger out, he could he supposed go hunting again, he hadn't been for years but with nothing to keep him on schedule it might be a good idea, if he could bag a deer and some rabbits to get them through some lean days and went say for a couple days each week, he could supply the odd neighbour with a bit of poached meat or a bird or too, for swaps or cash and that might just give him some breathing time.  Having made his decision he crept downstairs and put the water on to boil, if he was going, now was a good a time as any. He made a hot brew and while he drank it, he thought about what he would need to take for a night or too under the stars, and to be honest a bit of him was starting to get excited at the thought of it,  Sarah was always up early so he banked the fire and filled the kettle so it would be ready for her and crept out to the shed to sort through his gear.  With thoughts of deer and rabbit in his head Aden had no idea that the next couple of days would wipe the worry from his mind forever and his eyes would be opened to a world he had know idea even existed.
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Sue woke with a jolt, she had not slept that well and for that long in the longest time, and as she thought about it, she came to realise the last good night's sleep she had was the night of the dream, in an endless list of sleepless nights where her brain worked overtime with worry before sleep even came it was no wonder her nightmares plagued her constantly, she did see the irony of moving into a wooded place, when her nights were spent avoiding the “things” in the trees, no matter how many times people told her it was just her age, or stress of exams, or over excitement that caused the dream, Sue always had a feeling it was real, she remembered all of it, every second, it was dark and shady so a lot of the dream was shapes and shadows, but she could smell the forest floor and feel the wet dew on the leaves, she remembered how cold she was, and upset, something tried to take her away, tried to play mind games and hurt her, she just knew it, and the strangest thing was when she awoke she did feel damp and clammy like she had fallen asleep in damp clothes, they said that would be the sweat from the fear of the dream, but Sue had a hard time believing that, but the more she questioned herself and the adults the more their eye’s rolled with the “oh here we go again, our Sue’s a bit dramatic” or the “it was just a bad dream, you had a fever it can happen when you're sick”  and Sue did remember she had the flu for days before it happened and had felt like a shaken rug and had taken to bed with some cold medicine so she couldn't be 100% sure, “there you go” they said “it's all just mixed up in your mind, let it go and move on”.  Sick of the memories she usually had a better handle on she decided to put herself to use and get the thoughts under control, a walk would do her the world of good and she could see what was available now that she could use to add to her short supply of food.  She got up and padded to the other room, even on this fresh day it was a bit cold she opened the box her grandmother kept her blankets in and pulled out her old shawl, wrapping it round herself, she had a good talk with herself as the kettle boiled, made some toast and pulled up her girl pants, so to speak and went looking to see if she had at least managed to pack with a bit of sense.  Sue soon found what she needed if some of the items she had packed were a little obscure, i mean there may be a need for a owl photo frame out here you just never know, and anyway she needed a reminder of friends and good days too, the had been a whole host of those. Feeling a lot more positive in her position in life, she pulled on her old boots and set off west to the pond to see what the old place looked like after so many years absence.  She was delighted to see if was still as magical as she remembered. The days they had spent growing up here were incredible and she would always be happy when the memories played through her mind, she had a good happy childhood, she was allowed to wander and find fun by herself or every now and again with her brothers and cousins but Sue liked her own company, well she used to, you know before!!! Now she was like a frightened mouse, checking every idea with another adult like she wasn't quite sure if she was officially in the adult club. She was not always that way, as a girl adventure was the craved item, to be alone amongst the trees to play and imagine a world of fairies and little folk, hairy giants and old men with crooked sticks, she was playing so hard once or twice she imagined two of the hairy folk watching her, one from the trees as she played Knights and Ladies and another time as she swam in the pond, looking for the lake monster of legend, she could've sworn she saw a colour of orange shaped like a man sitting on the rock across from her, but when she came back up and wiped her eyes clean he wasn't there, so it was surely just childish play.  But you know sometimes when you could swear that you saw something, and then your brain kicks in and explains how ridiculous that would be in today’s day and age!!!


“Note to self, next time plan ahead” said Sue out loud, but hey that was her all over, panic and run not plan and pursue, luckily this made her smile and she felt the day was about to get a whole lot better, if only she knew, she was about to discover her purpose in life and that something that had tied her down for her lifetime so far, was about to hit her smack in the face and it would be something she would forever more have all her answers.  When lives collide no matters who’s they are, things are changed for ever, actions change on a whim and a whole new selection of choices are presented.


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Shona doesnt have a grasp of the english language as we do, she did recognise some words but she mostly thought “city ones” used too many words to explain things, when a simple nod of the head or raise of the eyebrows could convey a whole host of words, but she supposed that’s how it worked for them.  As they sat around at night and shared tales and stories with each other, the older’s would speak of their interactions with the “city ones” it was all very confusing to Shona, some spoke of the horror’s caused by the “city ones” the destruction and bad things they did to one another, but there were also stories of the “ones” who had helped us and tried to keep us safe, The Briar Girl that Onkroon the Elder had let in, she was his friend and helper, they spent many a long day talking or just sitting in each other’s company, she had told him of lots of the “city ones” that wanted to return back to the old days and return to nature, and once he helped to save her Grand daughter one night in the woods, they had stayed friends until she fell and had to move with her clan to be nursed, Shona had never seen her so she had to imagine in her head what “they” looked like, and it wasn’t anything like the one she was looking at now.  How do they move with all those things draped around their bodies, how could you be free if your arms and legs are bound, but they seem to like or need it, she had seen two of them now the old grey one who covered his head, and then this beautiful creature she was now watching from the Rhododendron's.  This one had no hair really except on her head and that was bound in a plait down her back,  the colour of chestnuts and autumn trees, the old grey one had lots of hair on his face?  This was very confusing to Shona but she couldn't remove her eyes, she was watching while this long haired one was wandering around, she could recognise the facial expression a kind of sadness and her body seemed to be heavy and bound down with worry, but she was beautiful small and delicate like a flower and Shona realised that apart from the hair and a small change in features, they weren't that dissimilar after all, two eyes, nose and mouth all in the right place, but different somehow whilst still being the same?  Tiny hands and feet, how do they climb and run with feet that small?  She seemed to be picking food as Shona would, but missing some of the medicines and healer plants, did they not know the lore of plants?  Did they only use some?  Shona fixed her shoulders into her “i've decided” posture and watched some more, she would be in big trouble if they thought she wasn't foraging, she knew where she could pick what she needed fast so it looked like she had been busy, and decided she wanted to know more about her hairless creature, what she did alone in the stone den at night would be hard to determine but out side like this Shona could watch to her heart's content concealed where she was, hidden and safe, the only worries Shona had were that Vena the elder mother would have her for not doing as she was supposed to, well Vena also taught her to trust her gut and her instincts and to way up every situation in her mind before she acted, so if you thought about it like that, then Shona was only doing whats she had been taught, she smiled to herself at the idea of saying that outloud and scampering off as quick as she could so she didn't catch Venas wrath,  Shona kind of understood that she needed to stay hidden, she wasn't a dumb child just a very curious one, and like many before her “city folk” or “forest dweller” alike didn't realise that all actions whether thought out or not, can cause a reaction that can not ever be reversed.  But for now she was safe and alone and her only worry was her grumbling hunger and she realised she better get the food stuffs whether she wanted to or not, perhaps she could sneak back later and watch a little more and tonight she would see how close to the Stone Den she could get without being noticed.  It was at this point she heard a “crack” of a snapped branch and so did the “long haired one” both Sue and Shona looked over to the tree line to the left of them and the worry on Sue’s face turned to fear, and Shona realised that she had put herself where she had been warned never to be,  where was Ranok when she needed him now?.  Why couldn't she just listen sometimes and take note, and then to her horror she saw the long haired one move towards her hiding place.


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As he set off in the truck, with his wife words ringing in his ears Aden wasn’t the happiest man on earth, but even Sarah realised they needed to eat, so she had reluctantly agreed to see to the kids and hold down the fort for a couple of days and the rest of the heavy load while he did the only thing he could think of other than robbing a bank, which even in his most desperate mood he would never consider, he may be a bit short of coin at the moment, but he was raised with morals and an honest work ethic, sadly there wasn't much work around to be ethical with,  he turned on the radio, found a station he didn't really care about and drove off out of town towards the only places he knew where he could look for animal sign and tracks, the Old Quarry seemed like a good place to start, it was a long walk in though, he didn't really have permission to be there but if he parked a few mile back on the road and walked in, he was sure he would be fine, nobody had lived out this way for years, and he was sure it was still the same, apart from the old stone shed there wasn't anything up there really for a few miles.  He knew the old man who owned the land behind the quarry old Mr Pelter a grumpy old swine and when Aden and his brothers were children he would chase them off, weird old fella lived alone up there for years, most people thought he should of moved to town decades before as he wasn't getting any younger, but he refused, he was “happy where he was” if you asked him, he was a man of few words, so most people avoid this area for hunting as Mr Peltier is not averse to getting his shotgun out if you really ticked him off, but Aden doubted the old fella could do him much harm, his strong running legs and quick wits were no match for the old fella.  And he would use the walk in to see what was moving around, it would be light by the time he got there, so a morning hunt wasn't on the cards, so he decided to walk in and find a place to set up camp, get a few snares out for rabbits and use tonight to go stalking, if he could get a dear and a couple of rabbits in the bag he could be home by this time tomorrow with food and a bit spare to trade, and that would keep Sarah happy until his next trip out or until he found reliable employment.  He didn’t notice how many miles he covered but when he finally jolted back into reality he realised he was only a few miles away now as he saw the Shaw property, he had met a few of the Shaw kids from time to time in the woods when they were younger, and when old Lily Shaw moved up to the big house and left stone shed behind, nobody really bothered with the property much except her sons and their kids, but that all stopped the night that weird girl claimed to have been abducted by monsters, she had always been a bit flighty so nobody really took much interest, prone to being a bit sickly and they reckon the medicine and fever made her delirious and that sent her a bit potty as they say, but Aden’s mother taught him long ago, “not to judge till you’ve lived their life son” and that was advice he carried with him for the longest time.  So he pulled up long before the big house adding another mile to his walk, but he didn't mind it was actually nice to be back here after so long, he thought as he unpacked the van and making sure he put the rifle away safely and his keys around his neck on a string, he didn't want to leave them in the van to tempt the odd car thief, though why they would be up this way was beyond him, but he took the precaution anyway.  Rain gear in, as he scanned the sky he couldn't see one cloud, but things changed quickly here in the hills and what was a bright summer's day could become a washed out drenching rain and mist the next.  As he sorted through his gear he realised his eldest lad had put a bag of marbles in, he must of slipped them in there years back he thought to himself and on a whim he popped them in his top pocket, no use to him other than the memories they carried, the thought warmed him as he remembered many a day and night consumed with marble olympics and the odd lost dobber!!  If Aden found a pot of Gold or the world's biggest diamond he wouldn't want cars and homes, or cruises across the world, he would buy as much of this land as he could and move his family out here, set up a hunting and tracking business and die a happy old man, well that was the dream, but that wouldn't come by working a zero hours contract and the promise of a paycheck, but a man can dream as they can't charge you for that, he thought to himself and he laughed out loud, hitched his bag on his shoulder and set off east towards the pine forest.


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As Sue left Stone Shed and set off on her walk she wasn't to far into the wood when she spotted some plants she could use, and the plantain and wood sorrel seemed to be everywhere, she spent a happy hour just wandering along, picking and eating as she went, some in the basket some never making it that far, and only reminding herself she was safe about 10 times, but that was a lot less than the normal soul digging doubts she normally carried, people had always held an interest to Sue if she could keep them at arm's length, as a Counsellor her job suited her perfectly and it was the one area of her life where she felt in charge and ok, in her office she could help lots of people with their day to day troubles, marriage difficulties and helping the odd 50yr old realise that life wasn't about the 9-5 but the people in it.  Happy all day long to listen and help the world had been a happy cocoon for the longest time, and then the book offers came in, and the Tv shows all wanting a piece of her, all needing her attention. Constant phone calls and meetings and forever skype chats had rudely entered her world and it seemed she was the only one with a problem with it, the whole world seemed tuned in to the fast pace media moguls who made a new star daily or could cut you to the quick for a small comment or gaff, Sue was lost in these waters, and the more she gave the more they wanted, till in the end she decided to do her “school girls pack and hide default setting” that mastered most of her decisions.  Sue knew there must be a way where she could just return to the joy of helping people with their worries and whoes without the whole circus production that went along with it,  Mothers with unruly children or scared to let their little ones out in the world, Middle aged men who had worked their whole lives without ever enjoying the day, Elderly people who felt their skills and needs were now redundant and felt pushed into a corner where they were expected to just watch daytime TV and Knit and not phone the doctor too often when the aches and pains and worries hit, Sue could deal with all of this, as it wasn't her trouble, what she couldn't deal with is her name all over the front pages and everybody suddenly thinking she had an answer to every problem and that was so far from the truth it was a joke.  Like most people Sue was great at listening and knew all the answers, it was applying them to yourself that was the hard part.  Whilst her feeling and thoughts seemed to be dragging her back down into the gloom again she had the happy realisation that she had already escaped, she was wealthy, didn't need for anything and if she stayed at Stone Shed she could happily live her days here without a care in the world and that thought warmed her, it was the first time she had thought about her future without worry, she could at last write the fiction novel she had always wanted to write, even take up painting or sketching as there were a million subjects here also, and then she remembered her old camera, still in her back pack, maybe when she had finished this walk and forage and her time was her own again she could dig it out and take some nature shots, there was no wifi here or electric, so she would have to keep returning to town to print them and charge batteries, but if she found some enjoyment from it she could always purchase a few extra batteries so she could stay out much longer between visiting the dreaded town, thought the idea that anyone would recognise her now compared to her usual glamorous book covers and magazine articles was a joke, with some grass in her hair and her cheeks rosy and make up free, an old band holding the hair she had plaited only yesterday, with boots and a warm sweater and cotton skirt, she looked more like your average hipster chick then a put together Counsellor to the stars, where were the suits and silk blouses now Sue she thought, but she could not remember in the longest time when she felt this happy rubber boots and all, and then she remembered that feeling, how she felt as a young girl, the freedom these woods had provided her, the games and dens and all the laughter that had filled the trees, warm summers at the pond, autumn fire pits and snow ball fights in winter, the new babie birds and squirrel kits in spring, the abundant rabbits that attacks grans garden (she would have to check that also when she got back, she had forgotton all about that old garden and the many treats it held back then, and then “that feeling” returned, it was back as real as ever, and even more sour for the moment it chose to returnm it felt like somebody was watching her, Sue could feel it, the hair on her neck prickled slightly, from memory or something she had picked up on she wasn't sure, but she knew she was no longer alone out here and panic started to creep into her chest, mouth drying and head on a swivel Sue scanned the trees around her, looking in all the nooks and crannies and spot the sunlight didnt hit,  but it would be impossible for her in this ground cover to spot much, she listened silently for a second and then “snap” a branch or twig broke, not close yet! but not far off.  Something or someone was moving around and the panic hit even harder, too far to head back to the cottage, much too far but she needed to make a decision and fast, she scanned the area in a panic looking for somewhere to hide and that's when she spotted the rhododendron bushes thick and waxy, dark and shade covered and before she had even made the decision she headed that way, it didn't enter her mind it could just be Mr Pelter or the odd lone deer, this was not even in Sue’s thought index, her mind jumped to the dream, the hairy hands that carried her, the feel of strength from the hard muscled chest and shoulders as she squeezed her eyes tight shut so she didn't have to see that face again, and with that thought she plunged right into the middle of the bushes.


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